Gods and Tea Parties
by Alien26
Summary: Trigon returns to face the Teen Titans... with a tea party?


Gods and Tea Parties

"… and so the bartender says, 'Hey! That's not a duck!'" Beastboy waited for laughter from his small crowd. It was a Saturday night and there was nothing to do. Everybody had a different idea of what to do. Robin wanted to go to the gym to train, Cyborg wanted to go to the electronics store to ogle at the latest in computer chips, Raven just wanted to read in the library, Starfire "wished to perform the ritual of shopping" at the mall, and Beast Boy wanted to do his own stand-up comedy show at the Titan's Tower. They drew straws and BB got the shortest one ("I still say he cheated," murmured Raven).

In the meantime, no one was laughing. A cricket chirped quietly. The only movement came from Starfire's eager hand waving in the air.

"I do no understand "the punch line". If the man did not have a "duck", what did he have?" Beastboy opened his mouth and was about to explain, when suddenly, the windows smashed open. Outside was a man-sized version of Trigon, floating into the air.

"What do you want this time, Trigon?" Robin said, leaping into an attack stance.

"Ah, the Teen Titans," the Evil Lord growled. "I have returned for one reason."

"You want Raven back, right?" Cyborg asked.

"No," said Trigon.

"You wish for us to surrender to you?" Starfire asked, charging her starbolts.

"No."

"You want us to surrender our toothbrushes!" yelled Beastboy. Silence filled the scene. A cricket chirped quietly until Trigon barked, "Shut up, cricket!" Then the cricket was silent too. "I want…" The Titans braced themselves for Trigon's answer…

"…a tea party!" Trigon shouted in a school girl's voice.

Robin gave him a bewildered look of stupidity. "A-a tea party?"

"Yes! A tea party! I've decided to be one of the good guys now! After I was defeated, I realized how horrible I was to you guys and how I was such a big meanie!" A single tear fell from his eye. "So I decided to make it up to you guys! I even brought my own set!" he lifted up a tea set depicting a guy being impaled with a railroad spike on each cup. He quickly set up the tea table and set and took a seat, while the Titans just stared, wide eyed.

"What's wrong? Don't you want to have some tea with me?" Trigon asked.

"Well, yeah, but dude, newsflash: you're a bad guy and this is rather sudden for you to have a change of heart," Beastboy shouted, giving Trigon suspicious look.

"Oh, come on! I wish someone would join me, but they all run away from me thinking I'm going to destroy them or whatever! Please?" Trigon threw them a puppy look.

Robin sighed. "Well, all right, I guess we could have a tea party with you"

Trigon's eyes were full of hope and sparkles. "Oh, thank you! You're so kind!" Then he ran up to the Titans and gave them a bone-crushing hug all at once. They all fell unconscious. Then, Trigon looked at his work, evil once again on his face. "Finally, I've defeated the Titans. Now, I shall rule the world!" Silence. That same damn cricket. "Shut up, cricket!"

"Wait just a minute, Trigon!" Beastboy said, getting up. "I'm still not finished yet!"

"Ha!" Trigon guffawed. "What can you do now that you're friends can't so anything? Tell a joke?" He laughed once more. Then he stopped laughing, seeing Beastboy smirking. Beastboy had an idea…

One minute later…

Trigon was on the floor laughing. "That-(Laughs)-that is-(Laughs)-so funny!" He continued to laugh as Beastboy picked him up from the floor and threw him into the ocean (Trigon's not heavy in his man-size version.). When the Titans woke up, they realized Trigon was gone!

"Where's Raven!" Robin yelled.

"Robin, I-"

"Raven! Curse you, Trigon! I'll get you for this!"

"Robin!"

"No one takes a team member from the Titans and gets away from it!"

"ROBIN! I'm right here." Robin stopped, realizing that Raven was, in fact, standing behind him. "Oh."

"Beastboy, what happened?" Starfire asked.

"Simple. I told Trigon that joke I told you guys and threw him out to sea." Everyone was quiet. Then they laughed as hard as they could. Beastboy, though, was not enjoying the laughter.

THE END.


End file.
